Possibilities

I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but music totally dictates what kind of mood I am in. Overall I'm a big alternative fan, most of my music is from this genre, or something sort of similar to it. I do branch out with my deep love for folk, punk, bluegrass, and rock, but alternative just really always knows how I want to feel. I go from the folk alternative with banjos and dueling female and male vocalists, to the 3 part melodies in a somber, piano pounding, flat out sad song. I love the sad songs, they're great. The funkcity cd that Kendra made me probably 6 months ago has definitely been played at least once a week since that time. It was originally made because we came back to the United States and didn't want to, and that we came back and didn't know what was going on in the world around us. We were just so happy, but sad, but mad at the same time that we were back and that we hadn't done everything we had wanted to when we were abroad that we were both just flat out depressed. Tears. This cd made me weep...and I loved every second of it. Every now and then you need to be a little emo, and man, do I love those times when you need that feeling. Somber music is just so good! This post is so rambly it's ridiculous, but whatever. I love listening to music and then switching it up and listening to another genre, but then slipping back into that old favorite. It's like wearing your favorite jeans over and over again, but then you buy a new pair and find that they fit you great! Greater than you could have ever imagined! Then one day those new jeans get gross and you need to wash them and wear a different pair, so you go back to the old faves. That's how my music choice goes. I listen to a band or a genre for months, then I get something new, or someone sends me something or tells me to listen to something new and I listen to that until it's a little pathetic, and then I remember that I don't have to listen to the same thing over and over again, so I go back to my true loves.

Also, every now and then you just need to listen to christmas music. Not all the time, but sometimes. There is some notion that it can only be listened to around this time of year and it is so overplayed because the window of opportunity is so small! Listen a little bit all year round that way it never gets annoying, it's just another great genre to listen to!

oh my god, oh you think i'm in control

Again, Walt Whitman, you are my main man. I don't feel complete without reading a bit of 'Leaves of Grass'...I've just been out of it lately. Not necessarily sick, or feeling wierd, just off. I feel like the world, my world, isn't really lining up. UGH.

First semester is coming to a close, which is a bit on the ridiculous side, I can't wrap my head around it. Ryan is moving out, Jesse is moving in, it's a lot to happen. I'm hoping my extreme hard work will pay off. I haven't been the best at staying in touch with the fam this semester, and when I do, I feel like it's a constant challenge (or battle) everytime I try and call home and talk to my parents...mainly my mom. It's one foot in one foot out right now, but it's so hard to balance this line, I hate it. I hate that everytime I try and bring up something new it's just kind of shot down. I don't know, we used to be really close, but now I just feel like we're moving apart. I'm working on fixing that, fixing some grades, fixing some internships, jobs...who knows, i barely have time to pee these days.

21 was real easy, now i'm realizing it kind of blows.

Pioneers! O Pioneers!

Walt Whitman has become such a significant figure in my life over the last two days, and I truly hope he stays that way. I just feel that I should go forth and make a claim for myself! I need to see this America, like it was supposed to be seen...in a conastoga.

Okay, the conastoga probably won't happen...I realize this, a car however, is my modern covered wagon. I've quickly, yet bitterly, come to grips with the fact that traveling across the country 15 miles a day isn't exactly productive. My dream of a conastoga has now turned into an aimless, yet meaningful, roadtrip across our great land to see what needs to be seen! I don't want to do it quick and get it over with, I want to take my time and go routes that are out of the way, I want to see this country for all its worth. If I could do it Alexander Supertramp style, I would, but I'm not that hardcore against society. I am feeling lost at the moment, and this is the only thing that seems to be the right thing to do.

I have already committed myself to finishing college. I will get my bachelor's degree in May and I will continue to work hard for it. This trip will happen. It is the task after graduating. I do not know when it will happen, but I'm planning now. I want this to happen within the next 3 years; if it doesn't I will be sorely upset with myself. I need to find what I want, what I need to be happy. I'm not unhappy...I'm just unsettled...restless. I want to be a pioneer for my own life. I want to find things about myself and push myself to new levels. The pioneers pioneered so we could live the life we live, but that doesn't mean we can forget what they did and how they got there!

This journey is to be a trip in honor of our pioneers.

Old Man Winter

Dear Old Man Winter,

Although I realize I was not present for the better half of your fury last season, I would really appreciate if we could hold off on the snow until at least November. I really don't think that it is too much to ask for, I know you have the ability to hold off. Think about the heating bills! As a world in economic crisis we beg you, please do not snow just yet!

I hope you take these things into consideration before you start the coldest season.

Sincerely,

Allyson M. Condo

New Englander

what about Arizona? I think i'd like to check it out.

bahh

although it is not NEARLY that time of year yet, I am getting to the point where I just don't care. I don't feel so bad about it seeing as most of my fellow students feel the same way. Maybe it's the impending graduation date, perhaps we are all just sick of school a little, it could really be a number of things, the least of which could actually be that I just don't care anymore. School just seems so redundant. I understand that I keep learning new things, and clearly I am NOT the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm definitely sick of doing it. I will have to deal with my life and suck it up, buckle down now before the year gets too out of control. I WISH I COULD DO IT.

So, next year?? real life or gap year???constant question.

Back to work?

Ewwww, I dislike school when it isn't being held in Spain. Picky of me? A little, I realize I was spoiled last semester, but really! Granada was just so beautiful and warm...not so much in Durham, NH. (beautiful, yes, warm, NO) I'm not ready for this to be my last year as an undergrad!!! It's too scarey to think of!! I hate it.

However much I dislike school, I'm taking some pretty good classes, this is my line up:
Advanced Grammatical Structure of the Spanish Language
Film Theory
Intro to Latin American Literature and Thought
Intro to Tourism

I am in LOVE with my film theory class. Truly I did not believe that I would love it so much, I was pretty iffy about it for most of the summer, but the professor and the students in the class are so into the subject that I am always so excited to go to it and put in some of my thoughts and my theories. This is the second film class that I've taken and I think that this could really be something that I could make a living out of. I'm willing to take a step back, though, and take a couple more classes in the subject to really make sure. Who knows, maybe I'll be knocking on Uncle George's door for a place to stay this summer.California and NYC might be in the cards..who knows!

BOO to homework...echo de menos granada...